Let’s Talk the 4C’s
Whether you recently got engaged married or are in a committed relationship there is something every couple should take seriously: the 4C’s. I’m not talking about bling; although the 4C’s are a good guide to go by in that aspect as well. I’m specifically referring to the 4C’s in relationships. You can find many variations and definitions of these but here are my 4C’s in a relationship:
I’m going to be real with you and say if you don’t have the ability to communicate with your partner, beyond superficial needs, you should seriously focus on this. Communication should be number 1 in a relationship. Being able to open up to your partner about your feelings, finances and where you see your future is vital. Does this mean openly tearing each other down? Well, no. What I consider communication, in a relationship, is being able to constructively and positively navigate through a problem, issue or discussion at hand and ending in a better understanding of where the other is coming from. Will you both agree? Not always but you will have at least talked in a progressive matter that leads to a deeper relationship.
Communication is really great but without the willingness to compromise your issues may never be resolved. When you choose to compromise you are showing the other person that you understand them and love them enough to work on what it is you are discussing. Now, am I saying to always compromise and become a door mat? Absolutely not! You know your boundaries. You each need to give and take a little; that is what relationship are all about. Being a team means working together using each others’ strengths to overcome the obstacle ahead.
This one seems pretty obvious but is deeper than just being faithful to one another. On the surface level you should be committed to each other, why else would you be a couple? Commitment to me is more about growth and loyalty. When you commit to growth in your relationship you are devoting yourself to evolve as your relationship does. Relationships fail because one or both parties refuse to grow together. I’m not saying completely change who you are but what I am saying is learn about your partner, do little things you know will make them happy, choose to work with them not against them. Your relationship should be a compliment to your lifestyle not another chore.
I touched base on this a little in my I’m Engaged….Now What post. Community is pretty huge. Think about it, why do we have the wedding party stand up with the bride and groom? To showcase the people who are supporting the couple and helped with the wedding. Having friends, families and other couples you can learn from and who are rooting for you and your significant other makes a huge positive impact that can help make a relationship successful. Am I saying a community makes or breaks a relationship? No, it’s ultimately up to the couple. But when you have a support system rooting for you it makes victories that much sweeter.
Living in filtered realities I feel we can get caught up in the “happiness” another couple is showcasing. I’ll be honest some couples just seem to click and it works for them however for others it doesn’t come as easy. Even beloved Hollywood couple Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard had their rough beginnings. There is a lot that goes into relationships but these are the cornerstones to a healthy foundation.