I’m Engaged…Now WHAT!
If you follow me on social it’s likely you have seen my photos I’ve been periodically posting and know that I recently got engaged. While the engagement glow is still bright and wedding planning has begun I wanted to take the time and share with you some advice. Wedding planning has a variety of resources including bridal blogs, Pinterest walls and mobile apps but there is a vital part I think gets over looked often: MARRIAGE! Here are some of my tips to help you and spouse-to-be get on the right foot.
The 4 C’s
No, I am not talking about on a diamond, although my fiancé did very good picking out a gorgeous center stone! I am specifically talking about the four C’s in your relationship – Communication, Commitment, Compromise and Community. These 4 cornerstones are what help build a solid foundation for your marriage. I could go on for a whole post about these so click here to read more. What I’d like to touch on is Community. Why is this important? Huffingtonpost may have their view on it but here is why I think it is important:
A bridge unites 2 sides, just like in marriage, however it is only as sturdy as the supporting beams. Without people supporting your union you are vulnerable to your bridge collapsing. Does this mean if you have no support your marriage will fail? No, but when those you love are rooting for you and your future spouse to have a successful marriage it makes the victory that much sweeter.
The Best Time to Start Working On Your Marriage…
Is NOW! Don’t wait until after the wedding bells ring to nurture your marriage. Getting engaged is exciting and weddings can be fun but your marriage shouldn’t only be about the celebrations in life but the hardships as well. Do you and your future spouse a favor and take the 5 Love Languages assessment. It will provide so much insight on where you two are in your love communication. Also, I highly recommend Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Dr. Les and Leslie. This book helps you navigate through some conversation points you may not have had or talked deeply about. This also has his and her workbooks as well as certified facilitators in SYMBIS pre-marital discussions to help guide you through the content.
When Wedding Planning…
Focus on your relationship first! Ok this one is from a personal experience that I will share. I knew the proposal was coming so being the natural planner I am I started organizing things back in May 2018. Just because I had researched and developed a vision for our special day doesn’t mean Kyle did; he was busy picking out the ring. This caused some heated discussions that led to me sending him a link to a chapel, downtown Toledo, called Simply Married. I told him that it could be just him and I with our parents and no one else but that I’d like to wait until after tax time. That is when he felt I was more serious about us being united in marriage than the wedding. For the record I am still getting my dream wedding but it was important to Kyle to feel part of the process. My point is a wedding does not define how your marriage is going to be; you define how it will be. Starting to work on it now is so much more important than the colors of the reception.
My Last Tip…
Continue To Date
Getting spread thin from budgeting, seating charts, families and details? Make time for you and your future spouse to be the couple that you are; that is why you are getting married after all. Go to a brewery and sip on the season craft beer, or watch a live performance of Rock Horror Picture Show. If you are worried about spending money then dedicate a night in to play Jenga or watch a movie together, wedding plan free, and enjoy the moments.
When you decide to get married you are promising to commit the rest of your days to loving, caring and supporting your person. That promise gets even heavier when spirituality is involved. So enjoy your engagement and have fun wedding planning but remember why you are even deciding this in the first place and take care of your marriage first.