Dealing with humans can be a real a challenge; some days it is wonderful with beautiful rainbows and other days the fires of hell break loose. Although humans are a variable we are social creatures and building relationships is nature. The question isn’t whether to build a relationship the question is how deep should you plant yourself?
My friends may joke I am “high maintenance” but I hold no one to standards I don’t hold myself. What do they mean by “high maintenance”? I take all of my relationships very seriously. Just because you are my boyfriend does not mean I will treat you better than my best friend and just because you are my best friend does not mean you deserve more time with me than my family. Because all these people are humans I recognize that they too like to feel appreciated and loved therefore I go out of my way to put just as much effort needed in each type of relationship to promote growth. If someone isn’t helping your growth you will never blossom. No one likes to feel invaluable or have their precious time wasted.
Learning the type of people you interact with will benefit you to not only have a large network but also keep your growth accelerating.
“Oh Hi, How are you? Love your Shirt!”
This is how a typical conversation with an acquaintance goes. It is small talk, complimentary and odds are they have connections somewhere down the line you may benefit from. There is nothing wrong with having these people in your network just keep in mind they are only at the superficial level; think small talk, pop culture and potential networking opportunities.
“I am just so amazing, don’t you think? Of course you do”
Dealing with a person who claims to be your friend but really just wants you to blow sunshine up the rear and leaves you feeling used is a frenemy. This person could be someone who constantly competes with you, tares your down or could have been a close friend at one point. You have 2 options here:
1.) Treat them as an acquaintance and keep it superficial
2.) Drop them. If all they do is take from you leaving you malnourished in the friendship then cut them out. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who stunt your growth.
“I can loan you $5 but don’t forget to pay me back.”
Friends are the kind of people you can have fun with, vent to and even exchange ideas with but they don’t give you all you need to blossom. Friends, to me, are like rain. Flowers need rain to grow but you can’t live off water alone. Friends will come and go and give you a little rain fall when needed; just keep in mind they may not last forever.
“I can’t believe we got arrested at a concert.”
True friends are the ones who will stand by you, love you and are the most truthful with you. These individuals are the ones, inside your circle, who are giving you the nourishment you need day in and day out. They provided rich soil to root, plenty of sunshine to grow and even some fertilizer at times. These friends will be real with you (you may not agree with what they are saying) but know they speak from a place that not only understands the person you are but wants to see you blossom.
Having standards in friendships does not make you high maintenance as long as you hold yourself to the same standard. Take time for yourself to better understand who you are and analyze your circle. Once you have analyzed your circle evaluate how you’ll interact with people in your circle and plant yourself where you can blossom.